Imman said someone should write a manual on meeting people online. It seems people do already have a few guides on how to DATE people online -- like this one. Except it's long and kinda bleh. And maybe cos it's written by a guy, there are parts I don't agree with. -wry-
...But then I decided I probably can't really be bothered. :S [Edit after I wrote the post: I wonder whether this is considered a guide, lol...] Here're some things about online communication which might help you...but they might not.
Disclaimer: Everyone is different. What works for me may well not work for you.
* I'm verbose. Naturally, badly so. I can and do write long protracted emails to people. I like to think all the information I include is useful, and in my mind it probably is. -wry-
* I find it easy to talk to people/I'm open-minded but opinionated. As long as you aren't hurting people, I'll generally try to consider your side. (Even if you are, I would.)
* I type fast. This might seem like nothing, but trust me, when you're on my wonky laptop, 100wpm is no mean feat. :P I kinda think fast, so everything comes out fast...maybe? >.> Actually I probably don't really think fast. Lazy and zonky. But I can BS. :P If you type at 40wpm, it might mean you might spend a lot more time on online communication than I would, for the same results. Can be frustrating.
Do you really want to...?
Online communication isn't for everyone -- a lot of people are really close-mouthed online, even if they are talkative in real life. If you don't really want to make online friends, that's your choice. So ask yourself -- are you sure you need online friends?
Once you've established you do want to try...
Maybe you're bored, or just interested in others' viewpoints -- and there're a lot of them online! Starting here at Livejournal is a good way; join some communities, talk to some people. There're also quite a few journals that are 'friend-locked' -- strike up a conversation if their profile looks interesting and they seem friendly. (i.e. request to join as a friend if they invite you to; If they simply say friend-locked, they might only be extending an invite to people whom they know.
There also seems to be a large number of females on LJ...guys might be happy to know this. :P This isn't always the case on the intarwebz.
On your own blog..
Appear friendly. Invite others to comment/ask your readers questions -- reply to their comments. This is mostly common courtesy. XD Comment on others' posts and if what you say piques their interest, they might visit your LJ and do the same. This is actually applicable to any blog site, not just LJ...If you're looking to meet people via email, this LJ penpal community is a wonderful resource.
Post often, but not too often. (Enough for your posts to come up on their friend page. XD) Use lj-cut judiciously. Leave others a message before you randomly friend them.
Other sites...
Now, while LJ is fun and all, there're many other sites where you can meet people. I don't suggest myspace (ugly, ugly sites), nor do I suggest 4chan (hello, anon!), but MyLot is a discussion site that's supposed to be an active and 'nice' community, but I don't think much of the site design. -wry- But hey, you kinda get paid for posting there.
There're a lot of other forums -- but if your aim is to meet people, a technical forum for webmasters such as BRL might not be the best of choices. But hey, you get paid for posting there too...wait, sorry, this was supposed to be the 'meet people online' guide, wasn't it? XD There ARE a lot of interest-based forums, though, and you can often meet/talk to nice people there. Just look around for them. (If you like manga/anime, quite a few scanlation groups have their own forums. I think I remember The Evil Empire's, as well as VK Cafe's...)
I don't suggest sites like Friendster or Facebook, but only because I don't use the former much, and the latter is too private for me (and probably for a lot of other people who register under their real names and details). Chatrooms (e.g. IRC) are a bit iffy as well, since it's either always the same people, or turnover rate is high.
Best bet, I'd say, would be OkCupid. I've really only met nice people (i.e. not psycho axe-wielding stalkers :S) there. Not only is it a matching site (you can do 'compatibility' questions to see how you would be matched with someone), there are many quizzes to procrastinate on, several of them pretty high-quality too.
Your profile..
Most social networking sites generally require you have a profile/biography of some sort, without which you're just another faceless Anon on thar intarwebz. I suggest you be succinct while staying true to yourself. Don't listen to the guy who writes the post I linked up there. If you like video games, feel free to say you enjoy it. It's common. No, it doesn't scare girls away, there're girls who play FF and WoW too. -_- (And yes, I used to mud.)
If you're a serial killer I suggest you say you are, on your profile, as well. It would make it easier for everyone. Starting relationships (coughwiththepolicecough) on a clean slate, ya know?
Also, if you're a good liar and out to break hearts or make friends as a social experiment, go ahead and see how far you can go. It should be interesting for all parties involved..
How I Use OkCupid..
Because I'm a lazy girl, I don't actually go around to look for people. I've done around 200 match questions, so I just sit back and let MatchBot fill my quiver -- when I get profiles in it, I check them out and see if I want to message them. And I do quizzes when they seem amusing.
Messaging people..
Guys, I know some of you spam these messages out, but I've spoken to a few girls and I think ALL of us can smell a stock message from a mile away. If you write a stock message and sound like a jerk, the average person won't reply. (A masochist isn't an average person.) If you write a stock message and actually nice (I've received a couple of these), the person MIGHT reply.
What I'm trying to say is for chrissakes, you looked at the person's profile, didn't you? Try to cater your messages to the profile you saw -- say what you liked reading, what you thought struck close to your heart. Try not to be too negative. XD Don't write too much. A paragraph or so is good. Also..don't expect too much. Many people are busy, and a message from someone they don't know probably isn't top priority. :) That's normal.
I repeat, do not write a stock message. One day you might find someone passing the message around and laughing at the poor person who wrote it. (Trust me, I've probably received around a hundred stock messages, and some of them are pretty hilarious.)
If you don't have a very good grasp of the English language, that's alright. (You can still meet people online, as long as you aren't meeting me online.) Just keep in mind that people who do might be turned off and subsequently not reply.
Initiating chat..
If you've messaged/emailed the person, you could try moving on to realtime chat, e.g. IRC or MSN. Dynamics here are different from emails because you're required to think on your feet a bit more, but just relax and be yourself. Remember, you're looking for a friend, not for a job. Listen to what they say, and reply accordingly. Exchange opinions -- discuss differences. It's what make people interesting -- the fact that everyone thinks differently. :)
If you're lazy and just want to read one suggestion..
Do not write stock messages. Ever.
Alright, that's it. Written from my MUD experience and chatting since I was about...10 or 11. (Gee, way to feel old.) I do remember I started on Yahoo! Baltimore browser forums, for some reason. ._. And yes, I -have- ventured into cyber rooms, but I never quite got it. -wry-
...But then I decided I probably can't really be bothered. :S [Edit after I wrote the post: I wonder whether this is considered a guide, lol...] Here're some things about online communication which might help you...but they might not.
Disclaimer: Everyone is different. What works for me may well not work for you.
* I find it easy to talk to people/I'm open-minded but opinionated. As long as you aren't hurting people, I'll generally try to consider your side. (Even if you are, I would.)
* I type fast. This might seem like nothing, but trust me, when you're on my wonky laptop, 100wpm is no mean feat. :P I kinda think fast, so everything comes out fast...maybe? >.> Actually I probably don't really think fast. Lazy and zonky. But I can BS. :P If you type at 40wpm, it might mean you might spend a lot more time on online communication than I would, for the same results. Can be frustrating.
Online communication isn't for everyone -- a lot of people are really close-mouthed online, even if they are talkative in real life. If you don't really want to make online friends, that's your choice. So ask yourself -- are you sure you need online friends?
Maybe you're bored, or just interested in others' viewpoints -- and there're a lot of them online! Starting here at Livejournal is a good way; join some communities, talk to some people. There're also quite a few journals that are 'friend-locked' -- strike up a conversation if their profile looks interesting and they seem friendly. (i.e. request to join as a friend if they invite you to; If they simply say friend-locked, they might only be extending an invite to people whom they know.
There also seems to be a large number of females on LJ...guys might be happy to know this. :P This isn't always the case on the intarwebz.
Appear friendly. Invite others to comment/ask your readers questions -- reply to their comments. This is mostly common courtesy. XD Comment on others' posts and if what you say piques their interest, they might visit your LJ and do the same. This is actually applicable to any blog site, not just LJ...If you're looking to meet people via email, this LJ penpal community is a wonderful resource.
Post often, but not too often. (Enough for your posts to come up on their friend page. XD) Use lj-cut judiciously. Leave others a message before you randomly friend them.
Now, while LJ is fun and all, there're many other sites where you can meet people. I don't suggest myspace (ugly, ugly sites), nor do I suggest 4chan (hello, anon!), but MyLot is a discussion site that's supposed to be an active and 'nice' community, but I don't think much of the site design. -wry- But hey, you kinda get paid for posting there.
There're a lot of other forums -- but if your aim is to meet people, a technical forum for webmasters such as BRL might not be the best of choices. But hey, you get paid for posting there too...wait, sorry, this was supposed to be the 'meet people online' guide, wasn't it? XD There ARE a lot of interest-based forums, though, and you can often meet/talk to nice people there. Just look around for them. (If you like manga/anime, quite a few scanlation groups have their own forums. I think I remember The Evil Empire's, as well as VK Cafe's...)
I don't suggest sites like Friendster or Facebook, but only because I don't use the former much, and the latter is too private for me (and probably for a lot of other people who register under their real names and details). Chatrooms (e.g. IRC) are a bit iffy as well, since it's either always the same people, or turnover rate is high.
Best bet, I'd say, would be OkCupid. I've really only met nice people (i.e. not psycho axe-wielding stalkers :S) there. Not only is it a matching site (you can do 'compatibility' questions to see how you would be matched with someone), there are many quizzes to procrastinate on, several of them pretty high-quality too.
Most social networking sites generally require you have a profile/biography of some sort, without which you're just another faceless Anon on thar intarwebz. I suggest you be succinct while staying true to yourself. Don't listen to the guy who writes the post I linked up there. If you like video games, feel free to say you enjoy it. It's common. No, it doesn't scare girls away, there're girls who play FF and WoW too. -_- (And yes, I used to mud.)
If you're a serial killer I suggest you say you are, on your profile, as well. It would make it easier for everyone. Starting relationships (coughwiththepolicecough) on a clean slate, ya know?
Also, if you're a good liar and out to break hearts or make friends as a social experiment, go ahead and see how far you can go. It should be interesting for all parties involved..
Because I'm a lazy girl, I don't actually go around to look for people. I've done around 200 match questions, so I just sit back and let MatchBot fill my quiver -- when I get profiles in it, I check them out and see if I want to message them. And I do quizzes when they seem amusing.
Guys, I know some of you spam these messages out, but I've spoken to a few girls and I think ALL of us can smell a stock message from a mile away. If you write a stock message and sound like a jerk, the average person won't reply. (A masochist isn't an average person.) If you write a stock message and actually nice (I've received a couple of these), the person MIGHT reply.
What I'm trying to say is for chrissakes, you looked at the person's profile, didn't you? Try to cater your messages to the profile you saw -- say what you liked reading, what you thought struck close to your heart. Try not to be too negative. XD Don't write too much. A paragraph or so is good. Also..don't expect too much. Many people are busy, and a message from someone they don't know probably isn't top priority. :) That's normal.
I repeat, do not write a stock message. One day you might find someone passing the message around and laughing at the poor person who wrote it. (Trust me, I've probably received around a hundred stock messages, and some of them are pretty hilarious.)
If you don't have a very good grasp of the English language, that's alright. (You can still meet people online, as long as you aren't meeting me online.) Just keep in mind that people who do might be turned off and subsequently not reply.
If you've messaged/emailed the person, you could try moving on to realtime chat, e.g. IRC or MSN. Dynamics here are different from emails because you're required to think on your feet a bit more, but just relax and be yourself. Remember, you're looking for a friend, not for a job. Listen to what they say, and reply accordingly. Exchange opinions -- discuss differences. It's what make people interesting -- the fact that everyone thinks differently. :)
Do not write stock messages. Ever.
Alright, that's it. Written from my MUD experience and chatting since I was about...10 or 11. (Gee, way to feel old.) I do remember I started on Yahoo! Baltimore browser forums, for some reason. ._. And yes, I -have- ventured into cyber rooms, but I never quite got it. -wry-
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